 Sometimes, it's not the grand gestures that make the difference. It's the pause. The presence. The willingness to sit alongside someone in their pain without turning away.
As a therapist, I've come to understand that suicide prevention isn't only about what happens at the point of crisis. It can begin much earlier. In an ordinary conversation. In noticing that somebody isn't quite themselves. In hearing the words beneath the words. In asking a difficult question when it might feel easier not to. And sometimes, simply in being willing to stay present when somebody tells us that life has become too painful. This Work Is Personal to Me My work in suicide awareness and intervention is deeply personal. Two of my closest friends took their own lives. There are no words that adequately describe what followed. There was grief, disbelief, questions that could never really be answered and the spaces they left behind. But there were also ripples. Ripples through families. Friendships. Workplaces. Communities. And through those of us who continued carrying their memory. Suicide doesn't affect one person alone. Its impact can travel far beyond the person who dies. I can't go back and change what happened to my friends. But I can allow their lives, and the impact of losing them, to influence what I do now. For me, part of that is helping other people feel more confident to notice, to ask, to listen and to stay. Sometimes Distress Doesn't Sound Like “I Want to Die” One of the difficulties with suicide prevention is that people don't always tell us directly what they're experiencing. Distress can sometimes appear as withdrawal, hopelessness, anger, emotional shutdown, increased substance use, risk-taking, feeling like a burden or saying things such as: “I can't do this anymore.” Sometimes something changes and we simply have a feeling that a person isn't okay. We may notice it. And then immediately begin talking ourselves out of asking. "What if I embarrass them?" "What if I've got it wrong?" "What if I make things worse?" "What on earth do I say if they tell me they are thinking about suicide?" Those fears are understandable. But they're also why I believe suicide awareness and intervention training matters. We can't guarantee that we will always know when somebody is struggling. What we can do is become better prepared for the moments when we notice something and have an opportunity to respond. The Quiet Work of Suicide Prevention Some of the most important moments in suicide prevention may never look particularly dramatic from the outside. They can look like: “You don't seem yourself today. Are you okay?” Sitting beside somebody instead of trying to cheer them up. Listening without immediately offering solutions. Not changing the subject when the conversation becomes uncomfortable. Taking someone's distress seriously. Or having the confidence to ask directly about suicide when you're concerned. These are small moments. But small doesn't mean insignificant. Sometimes being genuinely seen when you feel completely alone can matter enormously. Two Different Ways to Build Confidence Through Listening 2 U, I now offer two levels of suicide awareness and intervention training. The 1-Day Suicide Awareness Training is designed to help individuals and professionals develop a deeper understanding of suicide and compassionate response. It explores some of the complexities surrounding suicidal thoughts, myths and misconceptions, warning signs, communication, safety planning, referral pathways, professional boundaries and self-care. For those wanting to develop their intervention skills further, I developed Holding Hope – 2-Day Suicide Intervention Training. Holding Hope brings together contemporary suicide research, trauma-informed practice, attachment theory, relational approaches and practical intervention skills. At its heart is the LISTEN Model, developed by Listening 2 U to provide a compassionate and structured framework for conversations with someone experiencing suicide distress. But underneath the models, knowledge and practical skills is something I believe matters enormously: human connection. Because a person experiencing overwhelming emotional pain may not need us to have the perfect words. They may need someone willing to hear theirs. You Don't Have to Be a Therapist to Make a Difference Suicide prevention doesn't belong solely to mental health professionals. A difficult conversation might happen with a teacher. A colleague. A manager. A support worker. A parent. A friend. A sports coach. A university lecturer. Or simply someone who noticed. Training doesn't turn us into therapists, nor should it. What it can do is help us feel more prepared to recognise concern, start a conversation, listen compassionately and know how to help someone connect with appropriate support. And perhaps importantly, it can help us feel a little less frightened of asking the question. We Can't Always Know. We Can't Always Prevent. I think this is important to say too. Suicide prevention training isn't a promise that every suicide can be prevented. It would be unfair and potentially deeply painful to suggest otherwise. People who have lost someone to suicide can already carry enormous questions: "What did I miss?" "Why didn't I know?" "Could I have done something differently?" Training isn't about placing responsibility for another person's life onto our shoulders. It's about increasing awareness, confidence and our ability to respond when an opportunity to help presents itself. We can learn to notice. We can learn to ask. We can learn to listen. We can learn how to help someone towards greater safety and support. But we should never turn that knowledge into blame for those left behind. For the People We Still Carry With Us My friends remain part of why I do this work. I wish this were a subject I had only ever encountered professionally. It isn't. And perhaps that's why I feel so strongly about helping people become more comfortable with conversations that society has historically found very uncomfortable. We need to be able to say the word suicide. We need to be able to hear somebody's answer. We need spaces where people can talk about unbearable emotional pain without feeling that they have frightened everyone away. Because suicide prevention isn't always loud. Sometimes it's incredibly quiet. It's a chair pulled a little closer. A phone call made. A question asked. A silence that isn't hurried. A person deciding: “I'm not going to look away.” And perhaps we will never know the full impact of some of those moments. But that doesn't make them any less important. Sometimes the smallest moments of human connection can carry more hope than we realise. #SuicidePrevention #SuicideAwareness #SuicideIntervention #HoldingHope #LISTENModel #StartTheConversation #ListeningSavesLives #MentalHealthAwareness #CompassionateListening #HumanConnection
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 For many of us, the word sensitive has carried a heavy weight. Maybe you’ve heard phrases like, “You’re too sensitive,”or “Don’t take things so personally.” Over time, it can begin to feel like sensitivity is something to hide, manage, or apologise for.
But what if the very thing you’ve been taught to see as a weakness is, in fact, a quiet kind of strength? The Hidden Gift of Sensitivity Sensitivity isn’t about fragility it’s about depth. Sensitive people often notice the subtleties others miss: the tone behind the words, the tension in a room, the small shifts in someone’s expression. These aren’t flaws; they’re signals. They’re part of an innate capacity to connect, empathise, and understand. Far from being “too much,” sensitivity often means you care deeply, think profoundly, and feel fully. That depth can be exhausting at times but it can also be profoundly life-giving. It allows you to show up for others with compassion, creativity, and intuition that can’t be faked. When Sensitivity Feels Heavy Of course, sensitivity isn’t always easy. The world can feel loud, fast, and overwhelming. Sensitive people may feel drained more quickly in chaotic environments, or struggle with boundaries when they take on too much of other people’s pain. But these challenges don’t mean sensitivity is a flaw they mean it’s a power that needs care and awareness. Like any strength, it requires balance. Protecting your energy, learning to say no, and carving out restorative time are all part of honouring this gift. Reframing the Narrative Imagine if instead of criticising sensitivity, we celebrated it. What would it be like to see it as a kind of inner compass one that guides you toward authenticity, connection, and meaning? Therapy can be a space to explore this reframing:
A Gentle Truth Being sensitive doesn’t make you weak it makes you human in the truest sense. It makes you attuned to life’s richness, its sorrows and joys alike. So the next time someone tells you you’re “too sensitive,” consider this: maybe you’re exactly as sensitive as you need to be. Maybe your sensitivity is not a flaw to fix, but a superpower to embrace. #SensitivityIsStrength #EmpathyMatters #EmotionalWellbeing #HealingJourney #TherapyReflections #SensitiveNotWeak #SelfCompassion #CounsellingSupport #PersonalGrowth #HighlySensitive #InnerStrength #MindfulLiving #MentalHealthAwareness #YouAreEnough #EmotionalHealing #BoundariesMatter #Listening2U #HealingThroughConnection #GentleHealing #LifeLessons  There is something profoundly healing about being truly heard. Not interrupted, not advised, not fixed just listened to. As a counsellor, I’ve come to understand that one of the greatest gifts therapy offers is the quiet art of presence. In the therapy room, presence means more than just sitting in the chair across from someone. It’s about being fully there, moment by moment. It’s about offering undivided attention in a world full of distractions. No phones, no quick judgments, no rushing to conclusions just simple, attentive listening. I often hear people say, “I’ve never said this out loud before,” or “I didn’t realise how much I needed to talk about this.”And it reminds me that therapy isn’t always about having the right words or solutions. Often, the most powerful moments come from simply being with someone in their experience bearing witness to their feelings without needing to change or fix them. Presence allows for space. Space to think, to feel, to process. It gives permission for silence, for emotion, for uncertainty. It says, “You don’t have to perform here. You don’t have to hide parts of yourself.” And in that space, people often discover things they’ve never noticed before strength they didn’t know they had, clarity around confusing emotions, or simply relief in no longer carrying their story alone. Being heard in this way can be life-changing. It can ease shame, soften self-criticism, and offer a sense of connection that many people have long been missing. Therapy offers this space, but it also reminds us of a deeper truth: we all deserve to be listened to, with patience and care. So whether you’re in therapy, considering it, or reflecting on your own relationships, I invite you to think about presence. If you’d like to take a few quiet moments for yourself, here are some gentle questions to reflect on:
There’s no right or wrong answer just an invitation to check in with yourself. I hope these questions offer a quiet moment of reflection, wherever you are in your journey. Therapy has taught me that presence is powerful, listening is an art, and everyone deserves a safe space to be fully seen and heard. Sometimes, that is where healing begins. #ThePowerOfPresence #HealingJourney #TherapyReflections #BeingHeard #CounsellingSupport #QuietHealing #HoldingSpace #MindfulLiving #ActiveListening #SelfCompassion #YouAreNotAlone #EmotionalWellbeing #TherapyWorks #HealingThroughConnection #GentleHealing #MomentsOfStillness #InnerStrength #ActiveListening #Wellbeing #MentalHealthAwareness  When people talk about grief, the focus is often on the first year. The anniversaries, the “firsts without,” the holidays and birthdays that arrive like hurdles in the dark. Friends and family usually gather round in that first year checking in, offering support, remembering the one who has gone. But what about the second year? This is sometimes called the forgotten year. The world around you has often moved on. Life continues for others, while your loss is still so present, so heavy. The initial shock may have softened, but now comes a quieter, deeper ache. It’s as though the permanence of the absence really begins to sink in. Why the second year can feel harder
Allowing space in the forgotten yearThe second year of grief needs as much care and compassion as the first. This is not a failure to heal it is a natural part of the process. Grief is not linear, and there is no timetable for when you “should” feel better.
You are not forgotten. Even if the second year feels like the world has moved on, your grief matters. Your loved one matters. And you are not alone in navigating this quieter, often more difficult stage. Grief does not end when the calendar turns it becomes part of you, and with time, you learn to live alongside it. The second year may be forgotten by others, but it is an important, valid part of your journey. #GriefJourney #TheForgottenYear #LifeAfterLoss #GriefSupport #YouAreNotAlone #HealingThroughGrief #GriefAwareness #MentalHealthMatters #SelfCompassion #RememberingWithLove #NavigatingLoss #HopeAfterLoss #EmotionalHealing #GriefAndHealing #Listening2U #HealingJourney #Wellbeing #InnerStrength  We often hear the phrase “stay in your comfort zone” like it’s a place of ease and safety. And sometimes, it is. A comfort zone can be a necessary pause a space where we rest, recover, and regain stability. But what if that same space isn’t really comforting at all? What if it's just… familiar?
In therapy, this is something I notice gently unfolding for many people. They come in describing patterns they’re tired of relationships that hurt, roles that deplete them, coping habits that no longer serve them. And yet, stepping away from those patterns feels terrifying. Not because they’re truly safe or nurturing but because they’re known. Familiar or Safe The human nervous system is wired for survival, not necessarily for joy. If you’ve learned to expect criticism, neglect, or chaos, your mind and body might actually feel more at ease in those spaces than in ones that offer calm, kindness, or healthy challenge. That doesn’t mean you want to suffer it means you’ve adapted to what was once necessary to get by. And so, you stay. You stay in the job that drains you. You stay in the role that silences you. You stay in the pattern that numbs you. Not because it feels good, but because it feels predictable. And predictable can feel powerful when the unknown feels unsafe. Growth Often Feels Uncomfortable It’s important to know: leaving your comfort zone doesn't have to look like leaping into the unknown. It can look like questioning an old belief. Saying no when you usually say yes. Expressing a need without apologising. Trying rest instead of overworking. These are courageous steps not because they’re grand gestures, but because they challenge the familiar. Growth rarely feels like a light switch. It feels like discomfort, awkwardness, and uncertainty. But that discomfort might be a sign not of danger but of change. A Gentle Reframe So perhaps the real question isn’t “How do I break out of my comfort zone?” but:
The truth is, staying in what’s familiar can quietly cost us our energy, our joy, and our sense of self. And while the unknown might feel intimidating, it might also offer what we’ve been longing for all along freedom, peace, and the chance to live more honestly. Just a thought: If your comfort zone isn’t really comfortable anymore, you don’t have to leap you can lean. Lean toward something a little softer, a little truer. You deserve more than what you’ve grown used to. You deserve what truly supports you. #ComfortZone #PersonalGrowth #HealingJourney #TherapyReflections #SelfDiscovery #CounsellingSupport #MindfulLiving #EmotionalWellbeing #GrowthMindset #BreakingPatterns #InnerStrength #SelfCompassion #ChangeIsPossible #MentalHealthAwareness #GentleGrowth #HealingTogether #LifeLessons #PersonalDevelopment #Wellbeing #ResillienceBuilding 
There’s a quiet power in being listened to. Not just heard in passing, but truly listened to with care, with attention, and without judgement. In my work as a counsellor, I see time and again how transformative it can be when someone feels safe enough to speak freely. Often, it’s not about giving advice or finding instant solutions. It’s about creating a space where someone’s feelings, experiences, and story are welcomed exactly as they are. So many of us move through life feeling unseen or unheard. We filter what we say, worry about being “too much,” or stay silent altogether. Over time, that silence can build up, leaving us feeling isolated, misunderstood, or weighed down by things we’ve never said out loud. That’s why listening is such a core part of healing. When we are truly listened to, we experience:
In therapy, this listening happens in a focused, intentional way. The space is yours without interruptions, without judgment, without anyone turning the conversation back to themselves. Just someone sitting with you, hearing you, and holding space for you. But listening isn’t just something that happens in therapy. We can offer it to ourselves too through journaling, quiet reflection, or simply giving ourselves permission to slow down and check in. We can offer it to others, by holding back from advice-giving and simply being present. Because sometimes, the first step toward healing isn’t a grand action it’s being able to say, “This is how I feel,” and having someone respond with, “I hear you.” #ThePowerOfListening #TherapyJourney #HealingThroughListening #CounsellingSupport #YouAreHeard #MentalHealthAwareness #EmotionalHealing #HoldingSpace #ValidationMatters #SelfCompassion #HealingJourney #MindfulConnection #YouAreNotAlone #Listening2U #GentleHealing #DeepListening #CompassionInAction #ActiveListening #Wellbeing #TherapyReflections  The counselling room is rarely a place of grand speeches or instant fixes. More often, it’s a space of gentle shifts small moments of clarity, quiet realisations, and the gradual unfolding of someone’s story.
From my side of the chair, I’ve come to deeply respect the gentle. The slow pace, the steady presence, the courage it takes just to show up. In a world that often rewards urgency and quick answers, therapy invites something different: permission to slow down, to notice, to feel. One of the simplest insights I’ve witnessed over time is this most people aren’t broken. They’re hurting, overwhelmed, carrying things they were never meant to carry alone. Therapy isn’t about “fixing” anyone, but about creating a space where those burdens can be acknowledged, explored, and sometimes lightened. Another insight that surfaces often is that progress rarely looks how we expect. Healing can look like setting a boundary for the first time, or allowing yourself to cry without apology. It can be leaving an email unread for a day, getting out of bed when it feels impossible, or saying, “Actually, I’m not okay.” These are quiet victories that deserve to be honoured. And perhaps most importantly, I’m reminded again and again that connection heals. Whether through words, silence, tears, or laughter being listened to, without judgement, in all your complexity, is a powerful thing. It’s a reminder that you are enough, just as you are. So these are some of the gentle insights I carry from the counselling chair:
If these words resonate with you, I hope you give yourself permission today to slow down, to listen inwardly, and to honour the small, quiet moments in your life. Sometimes it’s in these gentle spaces that the most meaningful change begins. #GentleHealing #TherapyReflections #HealingJourney #CounsellingSupport #SmallStepsBigChange #YouAreEnough #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfCompassion #QuietCourage #ThePowerOfConnection #TherapyWorks #HoldingSpace #MentalHealthAwareness #HealingTogether #Listening2U #SlowHealing #GentleInsights #InnerStrength #TherapyReflections #Wellbeing #MentalHealthMatters  Understanding OCD
Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can feel like being trapped in a constant cycle of intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviours. These patterns can create deep distress, leaving individuals feeling stuck, anxious, and exhausted. Yet with understanding and the right support, it is possible to break free and live with greater ease and self-trust. What OCD Really Is OCD is far more than being “a bit particular” or “needing things just right.” It involves a pattern of obsessions and compulsions that can significantly impact daily life:
The OCD Cycle The OCD cycle tends to follow a familiar pattern:
Breaking the OCD Cycle Breaking free from OCD begins with understanding that the goal isn’t to eliminate intrusive thoughts everyone experiences them. The key is learning to respond differently when they arise. Therapeutic approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) can help by gently supporting clients to face their fears and resist compulsions, allowing anxiety to subside naturally. From a person-centred, trauma-informed perspective, therapy also focuses on self-compassion, helping individuals move away from self-criticism and shame. OCD is not a reflection of character or morality it’s a condition that can be understood, managed, and softened with care and support. Living Beyond OCD Living beyond OCD doesn’t mean never having intrusive thoughts again. It means learning to live peacefully alongside uncertainty, without letting those thoughts dictate your actions. Through ongoing self-understanding, gentle curiosity, and professional support, it’s possible to loosen OCD’s grip and rebuild confidence in your own ability to cope. With time, the cycle can ease allowing space for calm, clarity, and choice to return. Getting Support for OCD If you’re struggling with OCD or intrusive thoughts, you don’t have to face it alone. Talking with a qualified therapist can help you understand your patterns, find strategies that work for you, and begin to reconnect with a sense of balance and control. #OCD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #OCDTherapyUK #OCDCounsellingUK #OCDTherapistNearMe #LivingBeyondOCD #UnderstandingOCD #IntrusiveThoughts #AnxietyTherapyUK #CBTforOCD #ERPTherapy #PersonCentredCounselling #TraumaInformedTherapy #BACPAccreditedCounsellor #MentalHealthSupportUK #OnlineCounsellingUK #PrivateTherapyUK #Listening2U #OCDRecovery #ManagingAnxiety  One - but the light bulb has to want to change.
It’s a classic therapist joke. But like many things that make us smile, there’s truth beneath the humour. Therapy isn’t about "fixing" someone. It’s not about doing the work for you. As therapists, we offer a space - sometimes calm, sometimes challenging where you can explore, reflect, unravel, and reweave. But we can’t force the light to switch on. That part has to come from within. Change is often romanticised as something instant or obvious. But in the therapy room, change usually looks quieter, slower, and deeper. It begins with a flicker: a willingness to look inward, to sit with discomfort, to question old patterns, to risk doing something differently. The idea that “the light bulb has to want to change” speaks to readiness. And readiness doesn’t always mean certainty. It can mean curiosity. It can mean being fed up with how things are, even if you’re not sure what comes next. It can mean finally daring to hope that things could be different. As a therapist, I don’t provide answers. I walk alongside. I listen. I sometimes shine a light on what you may have forgotten or hidden. But the energy for change - the decision to let that light glow - that’s yours. And that’s what makes it powerful. So, how many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But the light bulb has to feel safe enough, seen enough, supported enough to believe that change is even possible. If you’re feeling the flicker of change within you, therapy might be the space to nurture it. You don’t have to do it alone. Feel free to get in touch if you’re curious about working together or want to learn more about the process. #TherapyJourney #CounsellingSupport #HealingJourney #TherapyReflections #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalHealing #MindfulnessPractice #SelfCompassion #ChangeIsPossible #MentalHealthAwareness #TherapyWorks #YouAreNotAlone #ResilienceBuilding #InnerStrength #Listening2U #LifeLessons #GrowthMindset #WellbeingJourney  We often look at the lives of others and feel a quiet tug of comparison. Their happiness, their relationships, their confidence, their calm it can all seem brighter, easier, or somehow more “together” than our own. It’s tempting to believe that the grass is greener on the other side.
But what if the grass is greener where you water it? Growth doesn’t happen by wishing we were somewhere else or someone else. It happens in the small, steady moments of tending to who we are imperfect, evolving, and wonderfully human. Your emotional “garden” needs care in the same way anything living does: patience, nourishment, and gentle attention. Watering your side might look like:
It’s easy to admire someone else’s garden without seeing the hours they spent tending to it the weeding, the pruning, the nurturing. Your growth may be slower, quieter, or less visible, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful. Maybe the real comparison isn’t between you and someone else. Maybe it’s between the version of you who is depleted… and the version of you who receives the care you deserve. When you start watering your own grass with kindness, intention, and patience you may find that the colour begins to return. Not because your life suddenly becomes perfect, but because you’re nurturing a relationship with yourself built on understanding rather than expectation. The grass may never be flawlessly green. Life isn’t meant to be. But with gentle tending, your garden can become a place where you feel rooted, supported, and truly at home. Maybe the grass has been waiting for you to water it. 🌱 #SelfCompassion #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalWellbeing #MindfulLiving #HealingJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #YouAreNotAlone #InnerStrength #WellbeingJourney #SelfCareMatters #GrowthMindset #GentleHealing #TherapyReflections #NurtureYourself #Listening2U #BeKindToYourself #PlantYourPeace #WaterYourGrass |
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From My Side of the Chair - Counselling Reflections by
Listening 2 U Welcome to From My Side of the Chair, a counselling and therapy blog written from the perspective of a counsellor and supervisor. I work integratively, with a strong foundation in the person-centred approach, and this space is where I share honest reflections on therapy, healing, and human connection.
Through these posts, I explore what I notice in the counselling room, what moves me, what challenges me, and what I continue to learn from the people I sit alongside. Each reflection offers insight into the therapeutic journey, seen through compassion, curiosity, and presence. Whether you’re considering counselling, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking a moment of reflection, I hope these writings offer something that resonates. This is a space where being heard, seen, and understood matters because every ripple of healing begins with listening. Thank you for visiting and for reading, from My Side Of The Chair. 
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